The Science of Positivity: Gratitude and Kindness

October 12th, 2019

I realize that life is not all cherries, sunny days, and apple pies. Life is a continuous cycle of highs and lows, times of joy and times of challenges, and then a whole lot of in-between. The emphasis here on positivity is not to suggest that we wear our rose-colored glasses and turn every moment into the most wonderful of events. Brene Brown has this beautiful phrase; “silver lining it.” Positivity is definitely not meant as a tool to silver line every dark cloud; it is not intended to replace our experience of yellow light or the more challenging emotions such as frustration, angst, loneliness, disappointment, hurt, distrust, anger, dissatisfaction, or fear. These emotions, although uncomfortable and not always easy to deal with, have a message

POSITIVITY = A + M + R

What positivity means to me is the ability for us to pause, to not react, to cultivate awareness. Positivity teaches us to look for the lesson and to choose where our attention is directed. We learn to notice who we are being with those around us, the choices we are making, and the actions we are taking. Are we building up or tearing down ourselves, our relations, and our communities? It is a lifestyle of self-awareness, a solution-oriented mindset, and self-responsibility.

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Communication Challenge

September 8th, 2019

How often do you send an email instead of picking up the phone and having a direct conversation? How many times have you experienced conflict or challenge because of a misunderstood text or email? Do you have long talks via text? When was last time you sat down and had a really great conversation with your partner, your best friend, or your colleague without your smart-phone in sight?

I hear so often, “Kids these days! They don’t know how to communicate.”

Do you?

The Challenge

Direct communication can be a very confronting conversation.  We have all, adults, young adults, teens, and even pre-teens become reliant on our smart-phones for communication.  Yes, they are convenient. Yes, they allow us to stay in touch more often, shoot out quick notes to add items to the grocery list or to say hello.  I am afraid, however, that this electronic, smart-phone communication has several devasting effects:

1)   We have many friends we “talk” to and yet we still feel isolated and alone.

2)   Electronic communication misses nuance, tone, and body language and is very often misconstrued or misunderstood.

3)   We avoid the hard conversations and sweep them under the proverbial smart-phone rug.

4)   We are losing the art of face to face, person to person communication, and connection.

Are We Wearing Masks?

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Intention. Purpose. Trust.

June 27th, 2019

I was listening to a podcast the other day with Dr. Dan Siegel, a scientist, doctor, and psychiatrist who is a neuroscience and mindfulness geek.  I was taken aback when, during a brain-science talk, he began to speak about the power of intention.  Intention and brain-science?

I was completely intrigued.

I did some research and here, in his book Aware, The Science and Practice of Presence, Dr. Siegel writes:

“How intention glows, determines where attention goes, neural firing flows, and neural and interpersonal connection grow.  Your intention sets the direction of attention and connection.  When we set an intention in awareness with initial purposeful effort, we influence what will also become intention even outside of our awareness. This creates a state of mind that can be present without our conscious effort. This is how a repeated, purposefully create state of mind during a practice becomes an automatic trait in our lives.”

What happens we set our Intention?

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